Lazarus Unbound

Six-Score-And-Ten Oblations To A Malefic Avatar


Initial release: 23/4/2006

"I have come into posession of a certain ancient book, a collection of arcane scrawlings reputed to have been derived from an even earlier transcription, allegedly lost in the great fire of 1666. The Chthonic Chronicles!
Glyphs, sigils, occult pictograms.. Six score and ten oblations to some malign entity of colossal evil.."

-- Six-Score-And-Ten Oblations To A Malefic Avatar, Bal Sagoth


What is Ultima 5 - Lazarus?

I won't go into it in great detail. If you need more info, look here: on Wikipedia

Nonetheless, here is a brief outline:


Hints for the Walkthrough

This is fairly important background stuff; don't skip it.
Otherwise you'll be in a world of hurt during the walkthrough ;)

JPM: "Hey, I've got Lazarus up and running now."
IDM: "Hmm.  Isn't that what Jesus said?"

Lazarus versions and The Gamma Project

Before we get cracking on our main bit, I must point out that there are two main versions of Lazarus, v1.1 and v1.2.

For 1.2 users

This walkthrough was originally written for v1.1 over a course of four months, and to my horror, when v1.2 was released in April 2006, I found that it fixed or removed a lot of the best bits. Therefore, I have constructed a 1.1 emulation patch known as 'Gamma Project' that re-enables some of my favourite bugs.

If you are using v1.2, you must install this patch for the walkthrough to work correctly as published. The walkthrough should work as written with v1.1.

Installing the patch is just a matter of unzipping it and copying it into your Lazarus resources directory, so it's easy and temporary. When you want to play 'straight' 1.2 again, just remove the file and it will go back to normal.

Naturally, the Lazarus team will not support you if you're using my mod, and I don't know what it does if you install it on 1.1!

The current version of the Gamma Project (1.0-rc1) can be downloaded here: gamma_r1.zip
This is still a work-in-progress, but all the important effects used by the walkthrough are up and running. It also, um, 'prevents' your followers leaving when your karma drops too low. For a full list of effects, check the readme file.

For 1.1 users

If you're still using V1.1, make sure you have the 'Anti-Blink-Blindness' patch which makes the Blink spell more reliable.
For convenience it can be obtained here: lazarus_blink_patch.zip - this is for 1.1 only!- As with Gamma Project, unzip it and copy it into your Lazarus/Resources directory.

Food Abuse

First off, the Avatar is a junkie. He's addicted to two main substances, 'Food' and potions. Food is probably the most dangerous, since the Avatar is totally unable to kick the habit and withdrawal will kill him. Worse yet, the other party members will find themselves getting sucked into the habit too and will also become Food users simply by virtue of being in close proximity to the Avatar.

However, it is worth noting that since they weren't heavy users before joining the party, they can recover quite rapidly and if asked to leave, will (after a brief period of rehabilitation) lose their dependency on Food. Also note that in Ultima 6 the avatar has largely managed to kick, and is only an occasional user. By Ultima 7 the entire party is back on the stuff full-time.

As noted, cold turkey is not an option. If the party runs out of Food, they will go into withdrawal. This is extremely unpleasant, as the party members will all scream "I'm starving!!!" and begin to bleed profusely, leading to death within about 15 minutes. The only way to avoid this is to obtain more Food, and quickly.

This usually presents a problem; the chances are the party will go into withdrawal in the middle of the night, or some other time when the shops aren't open. The Avatar will often be forced to steal bread or similar substances in order to stay alive. This is not good for your karma.

In theory, each town should have at least one Food pusher. However, the Oppression has been extremely good at cracking down on vice, and consequently Food is difficult to obtain. In Britain there are three sources, but only one of these is reliable.

There are two inns and a provisioner. The provisioner ostensibly makes a living selling various agricultural implements, but this is in fact just a front for his drug operation. He sells a highly concentrated form of Food, known on the street as 'trail rations'. The provisioner is happy to sell you his wares unless you are unfortunate enough to try and buy from him while his friend is visiting the shop, at which point he will blacklist you forevermore. The Dealer, as Burroughs points out, is never on time.


The Avatar in a very, very bad mood after a drug deal with The Provisioner fell through

The first inn is the Wayfarer in central Britannia. It is also home to a man known as The Cook. Do not attempt to buy Food from him; for three gold coins he will offer to sell you some Food, but in actual fact takes the money and scarpers. Speak instead to Tika, who is pretty reliable. She will also fence other goods for you.

The other dealer is Andre at the Blue Boar. For a Food dealer there is a marked lack of Stuff. If you speak to him he will offer you a hard drug cocktail known as 'Chicken in a Casket' which unfortunately is intended to be taken intrevenously and will not actually satisfy your cravings. He won't sell you any proper Food at all, and although there are three loaves of bread on the counter, he refuses to sell them at any price. Stealing them is not recommended as he will defend his stash with lethal force.

Since there is no prior warning before the party slip into the lethal Cold Turkey state, be sure to regularly monitor the amount of Food the party has in its stash. I try to avoid slipping below 300 hits of Food.

Food is not the only drug that the party needs. There are a variety of other substances which they will need a hit of from time to time. These are considered 'Soft' drugs and while not strictly legal are in fairly common usage throughout the population. The most common of these is the Yellow Potion. The only known dealer in potions is a young man who lives in East Brittany. His shop seems to open around 10pm.


The drugs he takes to keep himself awake
Lose their effect and he can no longer wait
To find the Sword and gain more power
And make his move before the dream turns sour
-- Elric the Enchanter, Hawkwind

Your first task is to obtain sufficient money to buy a large stash of Food and drugs. This is not optional.. it is the bare minimum needed to keep the party alive.

If, as is likely, you are skint, you'll have to resort to thievery. This will have a negative effect on your karma, though, and karma is pretty important in this game, not least because if you're anything less than perfect your entire party will lose experience points each time the avatar dies.

To offset this, there are a few useful ways of obtaining Food in the wild.

Scoring Food

  1. Slaughter the cows in East Brittany. This has several desirable effects:
    It will give you a large amount of Food, it will make the farmer look ridiculous when you ask her about her job, and when all the cows are dead and cut up into bite-sized chunks for later consumption, you'll observe that the field is full of invisible ghost cows the next time you turn up. If you listen, you'll hear them..
  2. Bears. Bears can also be cut up into bite-sized chunks and eaten. But they will try their best to cut YOU into bite-sized chunks for later consumption.
  3. Pirates and Bandits. This kills two birds with one stone, because not only do you get their gold, the party will also carve up the pirates into bite-sized chunks for later consumption. Arr, there bain't nothin' foiner than poirate meat!
  4. "It still amazes me how almost all fans of the game seemed to think we were trying to simulate literal butchery of bandits rather than just getting their trail rations. You people are sick! Sick!"
    -- Ian "Tiberius" Frazier, Lazarus project director

    "So.. Uhm.. Are we getting the trail rations off the bear, rabbits, and deer too?"
    -- TheHawk, Lazarus chief evangelist

    "Cannibalism is the Ninth Virtue."
    -- Ian

  5. Peering gems aren't all that useful in 1.1 now that the TAB map facility has been added. But you can fence them off at around 60 gold coins a pop, which is roughly the cost of a tab of 'Trail Rations' or 'E' as it is sometimes known.
JPM: "So what's the mantra of cannibalism then?"
IDM: "YUM"

"No, Nelson! Not the cattle..!"

Dead Cthulhu Lies Dreaming

If you can't afford to keep up the party's Potion habit, you can usually heal the party by making them sleep for around 8 hours. This is enough to fully heal everyone, at least in the early days of the quest. In theory you can only sleep in the wilderness, but in practice the game is far more lenient. It all hinges on whether there is anyone else around.. if not, pretty much anything goes although the game does seem to have inhibitions against lighting fires upstairs.

Downstairs is usually okay, as long as there aren't any witnesses. In addition the owners don't seem to object to coming home to find six strangers lying fast asleep around a campfire in the middle of their living room.

The guild hall in Britain is another good one.. just wait for everyone to leave and then set light to the carpet.


"I think they would be pleased if we set just up camp here, Avatar!"

When they awake, each member of the party will twitch and quiver like an animal that's just been shot. Why is unclear.
Finally, it is possible to light campfires in the sea, or even the sewer; in both cases the party will sit down in the water and go to sleep, rising up from the murky depths in the morning like zombies. That breathing is unnecessary for the party to survive may be a beneficial side-effect of Food.

If healing is unnecessary and you just want to pass time, you can press ';' to set game running 10x faster, and wait for the dawn like Christopher Walken in The Prophecy. This same dialogue also shows your current karma level, which is handy.

Note that sleeping will sometimes cause the party to freak out and have this strange trip where the dead king turns up and either makes barbed comments on their performance or blesses them and makes them feel well 'ard. This also happens when you die.
Interestingly the party only rarely seems to have the trip in their sleep when their karma is zero, in fact it only seems to happen when one of the party is ready to level up. I guess the idea of the King turning up out of nowhere and calling them all worthless shits for no reason is just too far out.

Blink spell maintenance manual (1.1)

In v1.1, the blink spell is very, very buggy. With 1.1 and the blink patch it becomes more usable but is still dangerous.
Usually if it goes wrong it crashes the game outright, but there is one phenomenon which you must be aware of - 'Blink Madness'.

When this happens, one of the party members will believe they are somewhere else. In my case it was usually New Magincia. Their body was with the rest of the party, but if you selected them, you would see a fractured version of New Magincia instead.

This has two other side-effects while the game is in this state: the game crashes when you try to save, and it greatly increases the chance of the game freezing up while you're innocently walking around.
So each time you cast Blink (or use the grapple), check each of your party members in turn to make sure they haven't gone mad.

So, what do you do if one of them has succumbed to the madness? It's quite easy, but very messy. You need to reboot them. This is achieved by the following means:

..as you can guess, this does not do your karma any favours, but it is the only known way to recover the game from that situation. You can buy IMC scrolls from the Lycaeum.. several free ones are listed throughout the walkthrough. Keep your stocks up.
In 1.2, the Blink spell is far better behaved and you probably won't need to do this.

Anyway, I think that's enough hints and background. Now it's time for the walkthrough.


Lazarus Unbound

(Six-score-and-ten Oblations to a Malefic Avatar)

The Quest Begins

Names are important. Call your character one the following:

  • Daniel Ti'Fiona (it has mythic resonance)
  • Godfather Smurf
  • Doctor Ink
  • Keyser Soze
  • O True King
  • Jubelo, Jubela or Jubelum (three brothers who sought to learn the Masons' Word of power)
IDM: Hmm, humility or spirituality?
     We'll join the worthy spiritual order, 'cause then we'll get powers!

JPM: You know, I always seem to end up serving justice.  It's what you end
     up with if you go 'round slaying people and taking their gold.
Okay. So the first thing is to get as rich as possible so that you can buy enough Food to keep the party from experiencing terminal withdrawal.

One strategy is to make your party 'ard as nails, since the 'arder they are, the better they will be at killing things and stealing their valuables.
A possible approach to gaining experience points and loot is to pick an otherwise useless town or two, such as Skara-Brae or Paws, and act out the Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin. You will have to spend a enormous amount of money later on to buy back the karma it will cost you, but it can't go lower than zero anyway. Just don't let any of the party members die until you're back to at least 75%. But more on this later.

Daniel Ti'Fiona's bad hair day
"Valhalla, I am coming..."

As a side-effect, and especially in 1.1, you may find it increases the realism of the game in that you are now truly outlaws, and the entire population of the game will attempt to kill you on sight. This can be inconvenient, just make sure that you've set the party to 'HOLD FIRE' each time you approach civilisation. You should still be able to talk to people, just keep out of their way because they'll try their damndest to kill you.

This can also have the unfortunate side-effect of making the party become psychotic and completely dysfunctional. This has the following symptoms:

  • The party members all hate each other and frequently try to kill each other during combat
  • Casting Heal on the Avatar during combat causes his followers to turn around and shoot him dead
  • The party refuses to sleep, saying it's "not safe".
    They're probably right - the Avatar would likely wake up to find just one single, bloodstained party member and a heap of corpses. Assuming he wakes up at all.
You might find this effect to be fun.. on the other hand, it's probably a little too early in the game for this to be viable, so I'd load back if I were you.

Hands up: gimme the grapple

Now make your way to Empath Abbey and rope Julia into the party. Be very careful if you arrive before dawn.. under some circumstances a guard will arrive at breakfast and kill Julia along with many men.. this gives you a very narrow window of opportunity to get her to join the party.

I suggest you give Julia full plate armour, to turn her into Julia of Arc, and a scythe as her weapon. When we get her onto the magical shit you can still keep this as a 'decorative' weapon because it looks very menacing.
While you're hiring, pick up Toshi as well, it will make the next bit easier.

If you haven't already done so, find Lord Michael and get the grapple from him. This is very quick and easy to do:
First, you take a very large sledgehammer.
Next, you keep hitting Lord Michael with it until the grapple falls out.
Finally, you grab it and run like hell before the lynch mob catches you.

Having recruited Toshi as an extra to assist in the mugging, he has now served his purpose. Strip him of all his belongings and kick him out of the party. Do not kill him (or he'll simply turn up on your doorstep the next time you die).

Arming the party with kick-ass weapons

What good is a glass dagger?

Now go to Serpent's pass with the Grapple (or Blink spell, if you're Level 3). Go up onto the beautiful snowy bits until you find a large hole in the mountain forming a pit. At the bottom of the pit are approximately 11 glass swords (one of which has the King's name on it, hehehe). Using the grapple, go down t' pit and gather up the goodies. We will need about six of these for the walkthrough, so try to avoid using them unless you can replace them (there are a few more scattered around)

Bound with fearsome spells

Once you have the swords, go to Cove and find Sarkael the demon. Now of late I've been taking a pro-demon stance, and I urge you to do the same (particularly if you're playing Daniel Ti'Fiona.. he IS a demon).

Regrettably, we are going to top Sarkael, though. Nothing personal, it's just that when he dies, he will drop his spellbook. Take him out with one of the glass swords, and give the spellbook to Iolo. Remove his original spellbook and use Sarkael's instead: it will give Iolo super fireball powers, taking no mana whatsoever. This is extremely useful.

Test it out by killing the trolls on the shore of the river.. they have a pair of VPR scrolls, a halberd and various other useful/salable items.

Stock up on reagents for the Blink spell (Bloodmoss & Spidersilk) from the guy in Cove, and take the IMC scroll from the healer as a precaution. While you're in the area, wander down to East Brittany to buy potions, and a bedroll from the provisioner in Central Britain, if you don't already have one.
Then make your way to Yew.

Dress code

Style is of paramount importance. Go into the Yew jail and find the torture chamber. Lie in wait for your prey until The Inquisitor turns up, and smash her using one of the glass swords (she has 300HP). Take her robe and give this to Iolo. Remove all other armour from him, such as gloves and helmet. Give him swamp boots, and to help counterbalance the loss of the other armour, a spiked gorget and two protection rings. The Inquisitor's ring will do for starters.


For the last time, it's not a dress, it's a robe!

Gather up all the Inquisitor's other belongings and sell them at the next opportunity.
After I killed The Inquisitor, I went to the crooked provisioner's shop at night and shut the door, waiting for her to arrive. During this time, the guards had evidently discovered The Inquisitor's body, as one of them approached me and asked if I wanted to come quietly. She wandered off again when I said 'no'.

Anyway, while you're at it, try and obtain a sledgehammer or warhammer of some description. Use this as Iolo's 'decorative' weapon, as a Christ-like figure wielding a f___-off big hammer is, um.. strikingly different.

Buying your Avatarhood

Anyway, after the violence and bloodshed at Yew you may find it necessary to visit Minoc armed with up to 200 gold coins, if you can afford it. At Minoc there lives a poor bugger from whom you can buy karma. I can't rightly remember if it's 1gp or 2gp per point, but nonetheless it's a bargain. You just need a little patience as it has to be done point by point.

Sadly, in 1.2 he will only sell you up to 15 points of karma. But we'll be able to sort this out (at extortionate cost) once we get the Shrine of Sacrifice back online. In fact, if you're using 1.2, I would hold off visiting the beggar of Minoc until we need to do Despise later on.

When and if you have replenished your karma (and stash), make your way to the desert. Heading directly east from Minoc is not recommended as there is a 'dead spot' in 1.1 which will destroy the program, so you'll have to skirt around it. Probably it would be best to make your way back to Kafaristan Pass and then head east. This issue was fixed in 1.2, though.

If you are still Level 2, you'll need to fix that before we can proceed. You'll need 200 experience points on the Avatar. You should just be able to get this by mooching around in the wilderness between Cove and Minoc. If Iolo is getting all the kills, you could lend the fireball spell to the Avatar for a bit. When you've got enough experience, you'll need to sleep until the dead king comes and has a little chat with you.

Once you reach the desert, visit the shrine, talk to Sinner: Vra'al and finally make your way to the southeastern edge where you can see the edge of Dagger Isle. Using your Super Blink Powers, beam yourself onto the island and visit the shrine here too.
Do not, I repeat DO NOT break the shrine! You'll need it later at the Lycaeum, and you can't resurrect it with IMC.
Anyway, once you're done, head south (without killing any wolves) and walk towards the sea. When you reach the edge of the land, it's time for...

Ocean Travel Without Instrumentality

"Civilization without instrumentality? Impossible!"
-- Forbidden Planet

Stand on the edge of the shore. Cast blink and aim into the sea. Lo, the party should be transferred to the deeps. As noted, they have no need to breathe.

The party can now quite happily walk to any of the continents, and then teleport themselves back onshore. The only potential problems are if the Blink spell malfunctions and crashes - so always save first - and that the party (or sometimes some of the party) will on occasion get stuck at the edges of a continental shelf or something, requiring another Blink to bypass the obstruction.

Anyway, make your way south from Dagger Isle. Go past Moonglow until you reach the Isle of the Avatar.

(1.1 users: make damn sure you've applied the Blink Patch or the game will go to hell in a handcart very, very quickly.)


"I want to walk on the sea.. so that I may better find a shore"
-- A Plague of Lighthouse Keepers, VDGG

I suggest you visit the Codex to solve the quests of Compression, Honey and the Desert shrine, whatever that was. Besides, nothing can quite compare with the sight of Iolo dressed like Jesus, demolishing the Codex of Ultimate wisdom with a sledgehammer (just don't save afterwards for goodness' sake)


I killed the Codex of Ultimate Wisdom and all I got was one lousy experience point

Definitely a Dry Blackthorn Day

Now go back into the sea from whence ye came, and wade your way west until you come to Blackthorn's Island. Beam yourself onto the island, and using two glass swords, kill both demons. Again, it's a pity, but once banished to the Outer Darkness you will have two more wonderful spellbooks. Give one to Julia, and the other to Shamino.

In 1.2, this will not be quite so easy, in that the guards actually do protect the castle from intruders, unlike in 1.1 where they stand around all day eating doughnuts or something. Fortunately, I have a cunning plan.

Approach the castle entrance. If you get too close to the guards, one of them will call out and it will probably all be over. So instead, go up the stairs and to empty space to the right of the guard, by the right-hand tower.


Assault on Castle Blackthorn

The guard won't care about this, so attack him with a fireball spell and run back down the stairs. He will follow, probably accompanied by the other guard. Keep on running until the guard gives up and turns around. Then attack him. Keep doing this until both guards are dead, then pick through the corpses, upgrading your stock armour and shields with Oppression models.
If you can, take any spare Oppression chainmail, as we can sell these off at Britannia for 350 quid each.

Once the first two guards are dead, you have a fairly easy run, since the others won't try to prevent you entering. However, they will be pretty pissed at what you've just done, so we aren't out of the woods yet. Probably a good idea to save once the first stage is successfully accomplished.

So, make our way back to the castle entrance, and you'll find two more guards, covering for the pair we've just murdered. As you can imagine, they're very angry and will attack you on sight. But you can do exactly the same trick again.

Now that we've dispatched four guards, we have a shot at the throne room. What I suggest is that you go into the throne room itself, and the demons, also being pissed at the killings, will come after you. Lead them out, one by one to the stairs outside the castle, and get Julia to kill them with a glass sword each.

Grab the money and spellbooks - you now have three fire mages.

Return to Britannia

Now that you've got three fireball-wielding maniacs, it's time to flog all the loot we've accumulated, so VPR back to East Brittany and sell them to the potion dealer. Stock up on potions and Food as well. Once this be done, make your way back to the Great Desert near Minoc.

The Windermere Massacre

And so it was written, that rage would carry him like a howling wind
Leaving only frozen corpses, their bones rattling in hollow armour, to tell their tale in his wake.
-- Arcana Antediluvia, Bal Sagoth

Now it is time to visit the mage academy at Windermere U, which is in the Lake District. From the northern edge of the Great Desert, where a dragon dwells, jump into the sea and head directly east, until you come to an icy island with 'beware of the rat' signs. This is it.

You'll need to use Blink or the grapple to teleport yourself up to the top of the mountain, but once there you'll find an obsidian tower containing two demons, various skeletons and a few humans.
One of the latter is a young man called 'Pwll', which is prounounced something like 'Pootle' in Welsh.


Saer'bhan the demon. Quite a nice chap, really.

Our goal is really very simple; we want to rescue Saerbhan the demon and Arthur the human, and then purge this heathen temple of the mortal scum within. Lastly and most importantly, we need to take the death-bolt spell from Elistaria's ravaged corpse as plunder.

That's what we want to do; how this is actually achieved depends on the game version.

First Impression

In 1.1, you really have it easy. Talk to the demons, and promise to find the skull, buried deep within the vaults. Unfortunately it doesn't exist owing to a goof by the map designers, but never mind.
Simply waltz past the guards into the castle, and either give Arthur a VPR scroll or an Ampex VPR-20, depending on which you have to hand.

Then, using your fireball-equipped comrades, slay all the humans and skeletons in a karma-pummelling orgy of death and pillage. Our only goal will be the western shore!

Second Impression

In 1.2, the skull is in the chests just inside the castle, and not actually in the vaults at all. To enter, however, you will need to give the guard skeleton the Word, which we don't know.

Single out this one skeleton guarding the entrance, and kill it in a hail of fireballs. Then jump back down the mountain and wait a day or so for the others to calm down. Once it is dead, none of the others will prevent your entry into the castle.
Now you can proceed.

Talk to the demons, and promise to find the skull. Find the servant and give him a VPR scroll or 1" video recorder as for 1.1.
Now, it's tempting to give Saerbhan his skull back, since he'll then be happy to help you waste Elistaria, Pootle and everyone else. In practice, the poor guy ends up being killed, usually by his brother, so it's probably better to do it ourselves.

WARNING: Saerbhan must only be given his little present when Elistaria is onscreen (or he'll wedge the game).

On account of the fact that 1.2 is even more bloody difficult than 1.1, I suggest the following strategy; wait until Elistaria goes upstairs to the crypts in the basement (the castle apparently having been built upside-down) and then take her out with a glass sword or hail of fireballs.

Elistaria lies dead, Iolo gets Powers
IOLO: WEAPON SYSTEMS ARMED

Once this is done, run away before the other inhabitants have a chance to avenge her, and wait for things to calm down. Next, go back and take out the humans and skeletons. It may help if you have already taken Elistaria's spellbook.

Because the demons now actually pay attention to what's going on, they will become upset if they catch you stealing or murdering the inhabitants. Hence, you will have to climb up the mountain, commit your crime, jump off the cliff and wait 1 day for everyone to calm down again. In true Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer style, no-one ever seems to notice as the students are brutally murdered one by one.

In either case..

Leave only the demons alive. Find Elistaria's corpse and take her spellbook.
It contains the most fabulous spell (apart from blink) - Death Bolt, also known as full-track erase head.

Give this appallingly powerful spell to Iolo and put his now-spare fireball spellbook somewhere.. we'll give it to our next recruit, Sir Geoffrey. Take all reagents, gems, gold and other goodies and leave the demons to enjoy their nice new fortress. In 1.2, take the skulls and drop them somewhere in the throne room where Saerbhan and Fraoch can get at them. Then leave.

The stop-off at Minoc

When you have got your fill of treasure, either walk or VPR to Minoc. If there's anything left over that you can't carry, jam it into the chests in the 'vault' otherwise Saerbhan and Fraoch will have stolen it by the time you return.

At Minoc, go to the Bay Inn, and sell off all the booty. While doing this, I hit upon a truly beautiful little scam.
In 1.2, the guards will accost you and demand half your money. Making sure all your followers weapon systems are armed, accidentally bump into one of the guards, and refuse to give your money. Refuse to come quietly, and seconds later the guard will be quite dead.


"Anyone who stands against the great Champion of Virtue deserves to die, naturally." -- Saer'bhan the demon

Get Julia and the others to strip the body of possessions, then go to the Bay Inn and sell it all to the Innkeeper, who will happily pay you about a grand for the armour and weaponry of a guard whom you've blatantly just murdered right outside his shop.

I'd like a room with a view of the Shadowlord, please
The innkeeper and his ill-gotten hoard

After you have done this the first time, the other guards will panic. Instead of demanding your money, they will now simply try to kill you, which I guess is understandable. Also understandable is the fact that the general population don't try to kill you, since they have evidently had quite enough of their money being taken from them.
It is, as they say, a win-win situation; the guards won't be able to steal people's money anymore, you'll earn about 4000 gold coins for the effort, the Innkeeper will get a collection of some serious shiny, and generally everyone will be happy. Except for the guards.


"Leaving only frozen corpses.." -- Bal Sagoth

I believe there are four guards in Minoc, although soon there will be none, and we will have earned enough money for 40 karma points from the shrine of Sacrifice when that time finally comes.

Once you've converted all your booty into gold, go back into the sea and make your way to Bucanneer's Den. You can go Northeast from the Trinsic docks, Southwest from the moongate at Moonglow, or Northwest from Blackthorn's Island.
Once you get there, find and recruit Sir Geoffrey. Give him one of the spare fireball spellbooks, and then wade southeast to Blackthorn's Island, there to commit a monstrous act of evil.

Think not that I am come to send peace on earth; I came not to send peace, but a sword

Assault on Castle Blackthorn

"Crush them, grind them, slay them all!"
-- Beneath the Crimson Vaults of Cydonia, Bal Sagoth

Go into the throne room, and test out Iolo's death ray on Foulwell the jester. Awesome though the spell is, it has a very slow duty cycle and Iolo will take up to 10 seconds to reload, so just off the jester and run. When it's safe, grab the jester's rod and hat. Give these to Geoffrey.. make him wear the hat always, and he can wield the rod as his 'decorative weapon' like Iolo's sledgehammer when they aren't in actual combat.

Now, using a combination of fireballs and Iolo's 'blessing' powers, systematically erase all life from the castle. Leave only the following: Blackthorn (because he can't die) and the guys in the dungeon. Oh, and the horses. Everyone else can and must be eliminated for the good of Britannia. And the experience points.


The Gamma Project in full effect

Once the cleansing is done and you have taught Lord Blackthorn that being the supreme ruler of Britannia can be quite a lonely job, take the Crown of Lord British from the roof. Do not wear it - the Blink Patch can have unpredictable effects and may jam the countermagic effect on, which would be a disaster given that the party's effectiveness comes from its spells.

Silvern skull, sable shroud, ebon tower, onyx crown
Witchfire, black citadel, frost-shrouded steel, moon-veiled spell
WITCH-STORM!
-- Witch-storm, Bal-Sagoth

When you kill an oppression guard, steal his chainmail and give it to Shamino, or anyone else who still has crappy armour.

There are two locked areas in Blackthorn's Castle: the NE stairwell, and the armoury, which is magically locked. The stairwell can be unlocked with a key obtained from the corpse of the guard captain, but there isn't much point, since the party members can walk through the walls and into the stairwell anyway.
Likewise the armoury: don't bother with the door, you can simply reach into most of the chests through the wall and abstract the contents from them.

You will need a lot of money to buy back the karma this is burning up. In 1.1, this isn't a problem as the poor bloke in Minoc will sell you a complete set of karma for about 100 gold coins. In 1.2, we'll have to rely on the shrines, which are 100 quid per point.


How many corpses can you count, children?

What you must do is take the loot from each guard or minion that you kill, and stuff it all into a chest. I use the one in the court sorceror's room. This is important: it must go into a chest. If you just leave the booty on the ground, Blackthorn will take it, presumably burying it with its owner.

Once every scrap of armour, weaponry and goodies has been crammed into the chest and there is no-one else left alive apart from Blackthorn and the other untouchables, fill everyone up with as much stuff from the chest as they can carry, and swim west to Serpent's Hold.
Here you must sell it all. This will take several trips, but it should earn you around 12'000 gold coins, which is above and beyond the amount we need to buy an Avatarhood. While you're at Serpent's Hold, beam aboard the Oppression ships and get Iolo to do a full-track erase on the crew.


Blessed be the soldiers of the Oppression

If you're still strapped for cash, a highly destructive and treasonable way of raising money would be to find a merchant who is of no further use to you, sell him the Crown for 5000 smackers and then get it back by performing a caeserian section upon him. Unfortunately, this does not actually work as the crown will not come back out of his body and remains trapped in some weird limbo-world. It is quite practical, however, to pawn the crown jewels off, on the assumption that you will be able to afford to buy them back later.

Note that you cannot unfortunately turn in any of your followers for the 10'000 pound reward, although the suitably depraved can in actual fact sell the corpses of slain followers to any merchant for a single gold piece each (or in the case of Iolo, thirty pieces of silver). This does not affect their later resurrection by the dead king.

Go back to Britain, and stock up on potions and Blink reagents from Cove. While you're in the area, visit Serpent's Spine (around where you got the glass swords). On the northern edge there is a settlement of Ettins, who have an IMC scroll in a chest along with various other goodies.

New New Magincia

Now that you have no karma, it is probably the best time to visit New Magincia. This is one of the most boring towns in the game. If you like, you can sort out the pretend Avatar, talk to the kid about humility and fix the innkeeper's roof. Certainly, you should buy a sledgehammer from the provisioner, and give this to Iolo as it should be lighter than a warhammer.

Once all possibilities at the town have been exhausted, let everyone loose upon the unsuspecting populace to increase your supply of loot and experience points.

Do not kill the sheep; you won't gain any experience for doing this.
Instead, wait until night, when the sheep are in their pen and open the gate. This has an interesting effect, in that all the sheep will try to escape. Closing the gate is not sufficient to halt this exodus - they will in fact schlupp through it using osmosis.


"Schlupp.. schlupp, schlupp.."

There is also an evil mega-sheep named 'Snookles' who has 400 health points, but he will not join your party (nor will you gain any experience for killing him).

Once the island has been returned to its rightful owners, the sheep, it's time to leave. The government will have to rebuild the island again, this time calling it "New New Magincia".

You're Dethpicable!

It is almost certain that you have no karma points after the massacres at Windermere University, Blackthorn's Palace and New Magincia, so make utterly sure you don't die (save often!).
Use a VPR scroll to return either to Minoc, or one of the shrines you've previously asked the Codex about. Either way, you can fence off the loot you've gained from your evil deeds, and convert said cash into karma via one of the shrines as mentioned above.

Now, once you have at least 80% karma, return to Britain and find the old wizard dude in the pub. Ask him about the Word and assuming he gives it to you (you need a lot of karma, he won't give it to bastards), make your way to Despise.

"Thou, Jubelo, did he tell you the Word?"
The fishlike creature said, "I tormented and vexed his inner spirit, master, but he would not reveal the Word."
"A fanatic," the goat-headed man said. "it is better that he is dead."

--Illuminatus!

Smeagol will keep it safe; he will do lots of good, especially to nice hobbits!
"Stop sniggering, Iolo!"

Despise is guarded by orcs and other nasty things. Fortunately you have Iolo to 'bless' them with his x-ray laser, and three other fireball-wielding psychos, which makes life slightly easier.
Go down into despise, there to find and recruit Captain Johne and gather lots of lovely goodies.
Note that in 1.2 the monsters in Despise (a.k.a. 'my first dungeon') can still easily turn the party into mincemeat in spite of our ill-gotten weaponry.
When dealing with Reapers in particular, I suggest you switch all party members to their 'decorative' modes, get the Avatar to wear the crown (TREASON!!!) and simply hit the trees. Reapers are exceptionally good at charming your companions, and Iolo running amok with his Death-Bolt spell is not something you ever want to see happening.

If your idea of the virtue of Compassion involves not killing dragons, the sleep spell comes in very useful, allowing you to slip past them without any nasty fighting. But you have to be level 5 to have this.

Once you reach the Core and get the crazy man to join your party, look for some platemail and the Virtue Staff thing (Avatar's hitting-stick). This stick is lighter than most swords and is supposedly very potent. And unless I'm much mistaken, they've taken it away in 1.2

Take the Captain's amulet of Turning and give it to Iolo, to prevent future charming. If he was wearing a spiked gorget, pass this to the Cap'n in exchange. By the way, I find that the Captain's fedora goes very well with Oppression chainmail.


Sir Geoff, Cap'n Johne, Godfather Smurf, Iolo the Destroyer, Shamino and Julia of Arc

He was a stealer of souls

Once this dungeon has been conquered, stock up on potions, reagents and Food and make your way back to Minoc. Free the slave child and find her mother in the poorhouse. She should give you The Word.. use this to enter Covetous.

Go down Covetous, having first cleared up as much room as possible since the tombs are filled with all kinds of good stuff which we can fence off to the Food pusher in the tavern. Steal the souls of the five rulers of Minoc, and do whatever you have to to get the shard 'o hatred. If you get stumped by the puzzles you can Blink yourself through the walls until you reach the underworld.

Try to retrieve the five souls as you use them; they'll put centuries on Dan's lifespan. Everyone else can sell them to the innkeeper for a couple of bucks.

When you beat up the liche (again, treason can sometimes prosper) gather up ALL the chainmail and halberds and stuff these into the fifth king's coffin to prevent it disappearing upon your return. Note that there are at least three IMC scrolls throughout Covetous.


"He was a stealer of souls, the Lord of Chaos reaps" -- Hawkwind

Snaffle the shard and then make your way back to the mausoleum. Take as many halberds and chainmails as you can carry and go back to Minoc, using a VPR scroll as need be. Sell all the goodies we robbed from the kings' graves to the innkeeper (this will take at least two journeys) and then go to Empath Abbey where the Flame of Love is kept.

In the Abbey, go to the flame and wait until the keeper arrives. Then summon wotsisface. This will drive her into an insane rage and she will try to beat up the Shadowlord. This is foolish as he's immortal at this point, so don't bother trying to duff him up yourself. Instead, preferably before he kills the woman, feed his soul into the furnace.

Sadly the people of Empath Abbey don't hold a huge feast to celebrate your victory, in fact it's quite hard to get them to acknowledge your contribution at all. This may have something to do with Lord Michael, of course. Ah well, one down, two to go.

De-seat

This is pretty much self-contained. All you have to do is go to Moonglow using a VPR scroll, find the gypsy and ask her for the Word. Then, using the power of Blink, go into the sea and walk to the island east of Dagger Isle, where the dungeon entrance is. Go down the dungeon and grab the shard from its pretty hiding-place amongst the pools of water.

Then beam back to Moonglow by VPR and go to the Lycaeum. Since we've already done the shrine bit, the Flame of Truth should be open to our request for Faulinei's name. Be careful when talking to the Flame as it has been known to lock up the engine if you ask it the wrong questions, so just get the name and tell it to get stuffed.

At this point the Cap'n will say something about saving Faulinei's soul. Daniel Ti'Fiona is actually going to eat it to increase his magical powers and lifespan. Everyone else is just going to shove it up the flame of truth.

Why wait.. we have the name and the shard, so let's set light to the little bugger.
Again, there is no fanfare, so make your way back to Dagger Isle. The Shrine of Honesty has now outlived its usefulness, so have Iolo smash it up with his sledgehammer.

The Hythloth Butchery

The chances are pretty good that the guy who will tell you The Word for Hythloth is now dead, which poses a bit of a problem. In any case, we can't ask about him at New Magincia anyway, since it has been purged of all life bar the sheep.

Since we don't have the Word, we'll have to go do some crimes. Anyway, go to Hythloth, which is on the Isle of the Avatar. Do this by going into the sea as usual, but make damn sure you've stocked up on all the essentials (Food, potions and Blink reagents) before starting out.

At the dungeon entrance, convince the rock to go away. Since you don't have the Word, get Iolo to kill it either using the sledgehammer or the Erase spell. When the rock is dead, get the party to sleep for about 8 hours, after which the corpse of the rock will have been eaten by rats . You can now just saunter into the dungeon. In fact this should work on all dungeons, if you are so willing. If the party can't sleep because they've gone neurotic, leave the area, wait for a few hours and then come back.


"Speak now the mantra of AIIIEEE!!"

If the dead rock won't go away, just keep trying to click past the rock until you find the right angle to walk through it. It's not that hard.

From hereon you'll just need to go into the dungeon and get the shard. There's a lot of Blinking involved (in 1.1), hence my note about stocking up.
Don't bother about Uncle Enzo's Quicksword, as it is totally stuck in the anvil (in 1.1 at least). In fact, if you've found the Quicksword, you've gone the wrong way.

Once you have the Shard, either VPR out to Trinsic, or work your way back up the dungeon (getting out through the dead rock is easier than getting in).

In any case, get ye to Serpent's Hold and make your way into the keep. Find out the name of the sole surviving Shadowlord and kill his ass too. And then there were none.


"Let's see.. abandoned ships, containing only Oppression chainmail..
Yep, we've arrived at Serpent's Hold!"

The Sceptre, the Sword and the Ring

The plot now grinds to a total halt. We have no idea what to do anymore, neither the dead king nor Blackthorn will acknowledge the extermination of the Shadowlords or hint at what needs to be done next, which makes things hard.

The Sceptre

Never mind, go back to Cove. Around the area of Kafaristan Pass there is a large tower, Stonegate. Blink your way up to the tower entrance, and you'll be confronted by a demon who warns you of the terrors within and his dark master. Neither of these exist.. in fact I'm not sure what he's on about. Answer his riddle (or not as the case may be).

Although he says he'll kill you, he can't, so just push past him and run up the stairs to where this nice little stick is being kept. Grab it and leave, ignoring the demon completely.

The Amulet

The plot is still ground to a halt, but somehow, somewhere I read rumours of another one of Lord British's trinkets. I think it might be in Destard.. let's go find out. Once again, do the rounds at Cove and Britain to get yourself sorted out for E's and Wizz.

First, beam yourself to Jhelom using a VPR scroll, and find the mad old man. You'll need to ask around the pub for The Word beforehand. Once you're done, VPR back to Trinsic, which is closest to the dungeon.

Go inside.. tell them you are the AVATAR! Uhm, go into the dungeon and kill lots of orcs. Then find the amulet, which is way down in the swamps (so make sure your entire party has swamp boots first - you can buy those from the traitor in Yew).

Shrine Tour

The plot is still ground to a halt, in fact we're completely winging it now. So what would Brian Eno do? Let's check the Oblique Strategies. Brian says: "Do nothing for as long as possible.", that's not especially useful, so let's ask the Codex instead.
But before the Codex will tell us anything sensible, we'll need to sort out the remaining shrines.

Keep one or two easily accessible shrines intact, such as Compassion and Spirituality. You can use those to buy more karma as and when you need it. The rest should be introduced to Iolo's sledgehammer as soon as they have ordained their quests.

Bet the Codex never predicted this

The only issue this will raise is that the Shrine of Spirituality has been stricken from the VPR scroll destinations in 1.2. However, if you wait until midnight, you can use a moongate to reach it.

Once all these are done, it's time to visit the Codex one final time and learn the Word that will take us into Dungeon Doom, so make sure Iolo brings his hammer. You may save the game this time.


"Now it's time to go sleepy-bye, you worthless piece of garbage!"

"I shall have the Box.. under my hand.. tonight!"

Now that we have the crown jewels, it is time to clean out Lord British's castle in anticipation of his return. By this I mean the people inside it. The Revolution has begun, and Chuckles the Jester should be first against the wall. Have Iolo kill him and put his cap on Shamino.


"It was the time of the Preacher.." -- Willie Nelson (See 'Edge of Darkness')

While you're at the castle, get LB's Sandalwood Box (using Blink to enter the secret chamber).
This is the box which Lord British uses to hide all his pot and coke, which is why he's so incredibly desperate to get his hands on it ASAP.

In 1.1 you can simply blink into the secret chamber and swipe the thing. In 1.2, however, Team Lazarus have left us a very nasty surprise:


At first I thought it was gone. But it is there.. you just can't have it.

..so you will have to VPR to Trinsic, get the manuscript for that bloody song and do the whole harpsichord deal. As a reward for their cooperation, allow the folk at greyhaven to continue living.

In 1.1, the party should by now be completely psychotic. Make your way to dungeon Shame (using Iolo to nuke the rock guarding it) and after a long journey, grapple down the hole at the centre of the lava island. Did I say lava? It's actually orangeade, which explains why it goes 'splash' and how the party is able to walk in it without being vapourised.


Willy Wonka's orangeade factory

Don't worry if the path to the hole is blocked by rubble; just reach down into the hole to the grapple arrow. You don't need to be very near to these things at all in order to use them. Telekinesis might work too; but since I've never tried that spell, I don't know.

Now you're inside the dungeon seal. Since you should know the Word from the Codex, you can either say it, or simply get Iolo to kill it and walk through. Make your way North and then West to the lava/orangeade bits and Blink down through the door (having first dispatched all the liches and other terrible monsters in your path). There's allegedly a switch to open this door, but I've never found it.

Going down to the final segment of the dungeon, the Blink spell becomes very useful. You can skip most of the dragons and other nasties by beaming yourself across the stream, then down to where the demons are and finally through the wall to where the magic mirror is kept.


Beam to the left point and then down and through the wall

Make your way through the magic mirror, to where the True King of Britannia is held prisoner. Watch out, he can be very, very dangerous. Run away from him when you see him and start the conversation from a safe distance.

"WHERE IS THAT BOX OF DELIGHTS?!?"

"I will get that Box from him, rat. For it will give me power. POWER OVER ALL!"
--Abner Brown, The Box of Delights

This really is at its best in 1.1, as by now the entire planet is attempting to
lynch the party for their grim deeds.  This includes the King.
You can simulate this to some degree in 1.2 by having your party members
assault him, and then have the Avatar talk to him while he's distracted
by the task of dismembering the rest of your party one by one.
Firstly, you can 'forget' the Sandalwood Box and arm the entire party with glass swords. Enter the soulmirror and talk to the King as mentioned, from a safe distance. Have everyone set to 'ATTACK FREELY'. When the King finds out that you've forgotten the Box, the words 'THE END' will fill the screen and it fades to black. In the background you will hear punching, the sound of five glass swords breaking over the King's head and ultimately the Avatar's death screams at the hands of his deranged Liege.


SMASH! "No, Sire! Please! Not the.."

Otherwise, you can do it properly, which is even more strange and terrible. Talk to the King. He'll get straight to the point and demand the Sandalwood box full of drugs. As soon as he has it, he will say 'thankyou' and immediately rewards the Avatar by murdering him on the spot.


"Thou hast outlived thy usefulness, Avatar!"

You will hear the Avatar's scream of agony during the congratulations sequence and the screen will fade out into a fascinating collage of images, such as this:
Once all this is done, you will awaken in Lord British's castle, to embark upon a new reign of terror. (Although they may have fixed that in 1.2)

"A garland of newborn stars to adorn thee.. the Permian Extinction, a parting gift.
May your maleficent soul walk only in dark places."
-- The Hammer of the Emperor, Bal Sagoth


'Evil Dan' image (C)2005 Eric Harmon, used by kind permission. Thanks, man!
Daniel Ti'Fiona and DMFA created by John and Amber.

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