Wily solutions and hints for System Shock and the Ultima Games, Add-ons for DOOM, and of course Software Projects.
Latest Updates: 09-Jul-2017 - 15 years late, it's Return to Castle Wolfenstein 06-Mar-2017 - Wolfenstein: NO 14-Jan-2017 - Long overdue upgrade to ditch the frames. Thanks, Sofox! 07-Aug-2016 - After many delays... Fallout 3 - Capital Punishment. 25-Dec-2014 - Skyrim. 18-Oct-2013 - Fallout 3 - New Vegas. 05-May-2013 - Major rev of Starless (Serpent Isle). I will try and finish the Skyrim thing this year too... 24-Nov-2011 - Deus Ex - Human Revolution Number Nine - A teardown of Deus Ex III 07-Aug-2011 - Oblivion - The Knights Who Say 'Nine' - collecting relics for fun and prophet 13-Jun-2011 - Return to Oblivion, covering the Daedric quests and Shivering Isles 09-Oct-2009 - Oblivion anti-walkthrough, part 1, Morrowind Videos 30-Sep-2008 - Major Morrowind update 24-Feb-2008 - 10th anniversary update of System Shock page 08-Oct-2007 - Morrowind : The Adventures of Cat-Dude 21-Aug-2007 - The current project is Morrowind. 03-Feb-2007 - Deus Ex : The Fourth Coming 23-Apr-2006 - At long last - U5:Lazarus is HERE 27-Nov-2005 - Minor updates, corrections etc 22-Oct-2005 - Minor updates to U6, Deus Ex T.N.S, added Lab to toolbar 01-Oct-2005 - Too much traffic from 'Spiegel Online..', taking site down for a bit 15-Aug-2005 - New chapter in Deus Ex - Things Never Seen
The game-related pages on this site use language roughly equivalent to your average episode of South Park.
If you are offended by such words, please avoid those pages.
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Misbehaving in the Ultima Games
Ultima 5 - LazarusSix-score-and-ten oblations to a malefic Avatar
The fantastic remake of Ultima 5 in Dungeon Siege, as you haven't seen it before.
"Now go back into the sea from whence ye came, and wade your way west until you come to Blackthorn's Island. Beam yourself onto the island, and using two glass swords, kill both demons. You will have two more wonderful spellbooks."
Ultima 6Things your mother never told you about Ultima 6
How to kill Lord British, visit the Land of the Dead, create very strange objects and much more.
Also features, Ultima 6 World Editor, Several Add-on worlds, and a character creation patch..
Ultima 7, Parts 1 and 2A Fistful of Ultima 7
"The key to this game is not through following the Eight Virtues.
The way to succeed in Ultima 7 is serial kleptomania!"
Now featuring Fear And Loathing in Forge-Of-Virtue, a 'walkthrough' for the twisted Avatars out there.
And: Further Drug Experiments
"Hard drugs are actually a good thing, because they tend to kill off anyone stupid enough to use them."
"D!ckhead ran around the town of Monitor, killing cats with what I believe he described as a ****-off big hammer"
Now featuring: Starless and Bible Black, Serpent's Isle finally yields and a new Anti-Walkthrough is born!
Ultima 8 - PaganHow to be a complete b*stard in Pagan
A walkthrough for Pagan, with an attitude problem.
"Get yourself juiced up on the magic mushrooms as often as you can and kill some of the blue theurgists. Get them when they start to turn red as they look just like Santa Claus."
"You're all-powerful, so don't bother to go through the door, just make one yourself."
"Beren must be fed to the Lurker. The only question is how."
And I said it couldn't be done. Hey Beren, fancy a swim?
"No free man should be hanged twice for the same offence"
Beren can be your friend if you let him
"But what Beren doesn't know is that the Avatar has been deallocated by the heap manager..
Beren now administers Justice to segment address 0000:0000...
...bringing the game to it's inevitable conclusion."
Ultima 9 - AscensionWhacked Out Ultima 9
A collection of criminally insane screenshots.
Probably THE most abnormal way of completing Ultima Ascension
"Save, and restart.. QUICKLY! The game is not well!"
Linux and Ultima 9 meet. Linux spikes Ultima 9's coffee with acid.
Stuff you can do if you get bored
"Okay, hide the body somewhere. Find another volunteer and try again."
System Shock - a complete (mental) breakdownSystem Shock - the hacker's guide to sin
"What the hacker lacks in toes and legs, he makes up for in his arms.
In fact, the hacker has these wonderful gibbon arms that are thirteen foot long."
Deus ExDeus Ex - Sunglasses at night
Another brilliant game from Warren Spector is twisted into uncomfortable positions
"Head back to Tamagochi Road and look for the maid, who is still sleeping happily on the tarmac after her passage through the window."
This revised version (3/1/2003) has a few corrections and additions, plus the new 'Saint Paul' section..
Screenshots to make your mind water
Deus Ex with a headache. Levitations, Rocket Fishing and stuff that can't really be described.
Deus Ex gone horribly, horribly wrong
"Legs are fairly easy; if the doberman won't eat them you can always jump down too far and break them. Arms should be eaten."
Arx FatalisArs Fatalix - The Quick and Easy Path of the Dark Side
Arx Fatalis gets the treatment.
"..go into the prison cell, where we weren't told the King was being held, if he was still alive, which he isn't anyway."
Fun stuff that wouldn't fit in the walkthrough.
ThiefThief - Drugs, drugs and violence
At last, Thief.
"Garrett is now lying on his side and full of 'H'. Unlike the Quake marine, who just lies there drooling with a vacant expression on his face, Garrett can still scoot around on his side, and even steal gold."
Thief 2Thief 2 - The MeNtal Age
Like Thief 1, but bigger, better and with more pottery.
"If you throw a flash bomb inside the girl's chamber, it will detonate blinding both her and Basso. This is amusing to you, but the game doesn't like it one bit and starts to panic. Basso and Jenivere will now both be doing Zombie impressions, and everything starts to come apart."
Return to Castle WolfensteinRTCW
What could be more pleasing than running around the lush countryside of Nazi Germany committing random acts of terrorism?
"In stark contrast to Quake, where the end boss is a sea anemone that sits there waving its fronds oblivious to your presence, BJB has to fight the forces of darkness incarnate in a final confrontation in a steelyard somewhere near Grimsby."
Wolfenstein - The New OrderWolfenstein NO
A brain-damaged psychopath in his mid-40s goes on a killing spree in an alternate 1960
"BJB commits a few more murders, kidnaps Anja, the only survivor of the Mental Hospital Massacre, and then escapes in a car. Incredibly, nobody stops an obviously-stolen high-ranking vehicle being driven too fast by a mental patient in a blood-spattered hospital gown who's never driven a vehicle with a synchronized gearbox before."
Fallout 3Fallout 3 - Capital Punishment
In which we go around cutting people's fingers off and looking for 200-year-old ready-meals.
"I am stuck in this f***ing hole in the ground, ten years old and apparently being forced to relive sucky parts of my childhood. Please send help."
Fallout 3 - New VegasFallout 3 - New Vegas
Fear and loathing in New Vegas
"The Omertas! THEY robbed my dog!"
MorrowindMorrowind - The Adventures of Cat-Dude
"The main difficulty is getting [Qa'Dar] out of his cage. Far and away the most reliable method I have found is mass-murder."
OblivionOblivion - The Cat Came Back
"During the day, it's a crap-shoot... about half the time they will rightfully scream blue murder. The rest of the time - Chestnut Stables in particular - the entire team of stable-hands will stand around and watch lazily as each [horse] is systematically bereft of its mind, body and soul."
SkyrimSkyrim - A Game of Dragons
"However, there is a way to fix the problem. Both problems, in fact. As with most things in this game, it involves beheading people."
Doom Add-onsThe Blessed Engine - "a patch for Doom that is so twisted, you'll never be able to look at an Imp again."
The Sky May Be - Probably the strangest Doom level in existence. New graphics and special effects -probably- not seen before.
Kansam's Trial - A new episode for Doom by a real perfectionist.
VSB Doom - an engine patch based on Voyage of the Space Beagle by AE Van Vogt.
DuckShoot for BOOM - a popular fairground attraction, for the BOOM engine
Binary Doom - attempts at binary logic gates implemented in Doom with Dehacked
PCI Soundcards for Ultima 7 and other great DOS programsPCI Soundcards
Looking for a soundcard to run those good old games? Check this out.
Games and things by IT-HE Software
Work In ProgressIRE - a Role Playing Game engine
A hicolor game engine for DOS, Windows, Linux and BeOS.
Designed to be as flexible and expandable as possible.
Finished WorkJavelin 2.32 - The Director's Cut
A very fast 256-colour platform game with digital music and sound.
For DOS (runs in Windows 9x)
A collection of odd utilities for various uses.
For DOS and Windows 3.1 (and Windows 9x)
Historical graphics library used in most IT-HE programs.
For DOS (runs in Windows 95)
Historical sound library. A technological cul-de-sac, for interest only.
For DOS (RUNS BADLY in Windows 95)
Like the win95 loading screen, but for DOS
For DOS (RUNS BADLY in Windows 95)
Dead ProjectsITHEos - The IT-HE Operating System
Misguided attempt at making a flexible OS.
Source code only.
The world's best all-in-one Doom editing suite.
Nothing to see. The WAD editor is in the "Strange Utilities" pack.
Kludgy and very slow action game.
For DOS. Some versions run inside Win95, some don't.
LinksThe Links Page
Mostly music, and mostly prog rock.
Homepage rituals:This lot is copyright (C) 1996-2017 Joseph Paul Morris
Thanks to Sofox for helping bringing the site into the 21st century...
More personal pages (Ultima, Doom, System Shock) may contain strong language.. you have been warned.
This page could probably be 15-rated or maybe even PG. Extremely sensitive people might be offended.
These pages are in a state of perpetual imbalance.
Administrative stuffThis page is maintained by Joseph Morris of IT-HE Software.
Send comments or complaints to one of the following:
email@example.com Preferred address
Sometimes known on Usenet as: DOUG the Eagle (Dragon), -=UDIC=- member
Ultima and System Shock are trademarks of Origin Systems Inc.
Doom and the Doom logo are trademarks of Id software.
Any other trademarks mentioned here are the property of their respective owners.